I'll Give You Three Guesses

So, I'll give you three guesses whose hand x-ray this is.

Need a hint?  She loves her gymnastics class and just started practicing for the upcoming softball season.  (This actually happened during softball practice catching the ball.)

Still not sure?  She writes with this hand and now can't do anything now because her pinkie is broken.  (Hear that hint of whine?)

I know, this is a hard one.  One more clue.  She is dramatic and thinks it is exciting to have her first broken bone!

Wow!  If you guessed Lily - good job!  This was very exciting for her for the first couple of days, but I think the fun is wearing off.  She has realized that you can't take the cast off.  So, she has trouble tying her shoes, buttoning her pants, writing, showering, etc, etc, etc.  And she is only in a temporary cast!  We will go to the orthopedic hand specialist on Thursday to see what needs to be done.  What a way to start end the spring ball season.

More?

Have you ever wondered if there is more? More to life? More you should do? A greater purpose for your life? Lately, I wonder "more?" quite often. Now, don't get me wrong here. I am not questioning my faith at all. In fact, I find myself praying much more asking God for guidance and clarity.

What do I want? Well, I'm not looking for busy work. I still have plenty of work to do. I have a small role in the school PTA. I have teachers to find for preschool classes. I have all the home chores (the ones that never seem to go away!). I have scrapbooking to catch up on. I have 2 rooms of our house to finish decorating. I will soon be working on curriculum for VBS. The taxes need to be done. The flowerbeds need to be prepped for spring. Etc., etc., etc... But, that is all just...stuff.

I'm also not looking for grandeur. I don't mean to sound like I am so important that I need something wonderful and grand and important to do. I'm not. So. Not.

Maybe I need to get a job. The extra money would be fabulous! The problem is that I am not willing to sacrifice the time with my children. Yes, I realize that they are all in school now. But not all day. So who gives a job to a girl who will only work from 9-2:30, no weekends, no holidays, no school event days, not when a child is sick, oh and not in the summer? Oh, and I'm not really sure that "more" is a boring accounting job anyway.

Maybe I want too much. Maybe I am too picky. Maybe I expect God to work miracles around MY schedule. Maybe I'm still thinking too much of ME. Probably.

So, what do I want? What I want is to be used by God for his greater purpose. To feel like I am using my talents to the best of my ability to serve Him. I want Him to say "Well done, good and faithful servant!". It is so hard for me to explain. Does this make any sense at all? I see others that are happy, successful and fulfilled in their professions. Ministers, missionaries, teachers, office workers, nurses...living for God daily. I just don't know how to get to that sweet spot where talents, passion, and purpose collide. Who knows, maybe I'm already there and God just wants me to be content. I guess I'll just keep praying that God will use me for more. Whatever His "more" is.

Groundhog Day

Today feels just like the movie "Groundhog Day". You know the one where the same things happen day after day after day? Well, we are missing school again today... for the fifth time in a week! They were out Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday last week and now again today. I cannot remember ever being out this much for bad weather when I was a kid. SO not fair! I would have enjoyed it then!

Last week we made cookies, played outside, played video games, I taught them how to play rummy, watched movies, exercised, did laundry... It was some combination of the list every day. The kids loved it! And truth be told, I did too. I love cuddling up with my big babies. Those opportunities don't come around as often now that they are getting older. So, what will we do today? The same things. It's Groundhog Day. Again!

Yes, I Know.

Oh, and yes, I know it has almost been a year since I last posted. Sorry. What can I say? Life get's in the way sometimes. I am not even going to try to catch up. I will however give you a quick rundown on what is going on at our house.

Larry - Working. Loves his new office space. (I'll blog about that later.) Hunting season is over and baseball season is gearing up. He will be coaching Logan's team.
Deanna - Decorating, simplifying, and scrapbooking (finally!). Not necessarily in that order.
Zachery - Baseball, learning percussion instruments for middle school band and texting.
Logan - Basketball, piano and about to start baseball again.
Lily - Gymnastics, getting her eye poked and about to start softball again.

I'm sure there are more interesting details, but it's been a long day taking care of my Lily and I'm tired. I'll try to post again soon. Sorry, no promises.

Pirate Lily

Aargh! Well, let's just say - nerf swords are dangerous weapons! Lily got caught in the middle of the boys sword fight and well...accidents happen. Her eye is scratched and has to be patched until her recheck tomorrow afternoon. Hopefully by then her eye will feel so much better that we can remove the patch and see normally again. She is in a lot of pain right now. She took 2 long naps today and still went to bed on time. Poor baby. One benefit from this incident is all the extra cuddle time from our almost 8 year old.

The End is Coming!

Today was my last PTA Board meeting as President. Though I still have one General Association meeting in May, it feels like the end. I can almost feel it. Tonight was a special night. I treated my Board to dessert and door prizes as a thank you for a job well done! It was the last meeting of the year and unbelievably - almost everyone came!

Two years ago, I was nervous and unsure about being President. I felt under qualified and I was scared of the conflicts that usually occur when you have 27 women in one room. Dealing with girl fights is not one of my strengths. But my Board has been unbelievable! I have been surrounded by some very talented, wonderful, giving, Christian women this year. They understand that we serve - not to be seen - but just to serve. We serve for our own kids, but for also for the other kids. The kids whose moms work hard all day and can't come to every event. It seems like every time I am at school, I get smiles, waves and hugs - some from kids I have never noticed before. That's why we serve.

Thank you to my Board - my friends. It has been a pleasure!

Waiting...still waiting

Waiting. It seems like I am always waiting.

Waiting for the baby to get here.
Waiting for the baby to get out of diapers.
Waiting on the kids to get ready for school.
Waiting for the bell to ring so I can see their sweet faces again.
Waiting in the line at Walmart. (Always the slowest line!)
Waiting for it to get warm/cold.
Waiting for my flowers to grow.
Waiting to exercise. I'm too busy you know!
Waiting until a better time.
Waiting until I have more time.
Waiting on someone else to take care of it. Whatever "it" is.
Waiting on my hair to grow.
Waiting until my next appointment so I can cut it shorter.
Waiting on the computer for my taxes to e-file. Yes, I did them 2 months ago, but never hit the "file" button. Why???

AAAARGH!!! I have decided that I am not good at waiting.

But there is something that I will patiently and gladly wait on...my kids to grow up. Yes, mom. You were right. The days when my children are young are the best days ever! I wouldn't change anything. I won't wish this time away. I will patiently hug, kiss, cuddle, tickle, giggle, and love my kids until there is no more waiting. Praise God for getting to wait in this life with my children.

Play Ball!

Yes, it's that time again. Time when we realize...hey it really does take a village to raise our kids! Why you ask? Well, when you have one kid playing ball in Hurst, one playing ball in Colleyville and another kid playing a ball tournament in Rockwall...well that's one more kid than we have parents. So that's when our village comes in. What in the world would we do without our family and friends??? Thanks to my parents and the Hamilton's for being a part of our village this past weekend!

Spring is a very crazy time for the Texas Tolleson's, but we wouldn't have it any other way. The kids love playing baseball and Larry loves coaching. Me, well I've got my comfy seat and blanket packed and ready to be a proud mom.

Well, I'm off to another game!

And then...sometimes plans change. Ball season also means less sleep, dinner at 4:30 and cranky people. We were in the car on the way to Logan's game tonight, and Lily had a melt down before we even got out of the neighborhood. So, even though she screamed "I'm not tired" (A mom's sure clue that a child is completely exhausted!), she was bathed and asleep within 20 minutes. Zac and I enjoyed our quiet evening. Good night.

Many Moons

Yes. It's true. I have been a very bad blogger. So, to the one person that keeps up with the Texas Tolleson's...sorry. I can't really say it will get any better though. It is now baseball season and that means that our life is torn in three different directions almost nightly.

So, to catch you up on the past few months:
Thanksgiving - here in Texas
Christmas - it was fantastic! Gotta love Santa!
New Years - Had a great time with friends!
My 35-ish birthday - yippee.
Lily's 7th birthday - really? Wow that was fast! She had her first sleepover party.
Logan got glasses. No. He is not happy about it, but he looks cute!
Spring Break - We worked all week around the house, warmed up the pool and swam.
Zac got braces. Again. If you have not started saving for your kids. Start.

And now it's baseball season. Lily is a Diamond Girl again with her friends, playing in Colleyville. Logan is on the Crossmen playing in Hurst. And Zachery is on the Junior Hawks playing in Hurst. Sounds easy since both boys play in Hurst, but it's not. Both boys also play tournaments in a different city each weekend. That is when it gets confusing. Whoever said "it takes a village to raise a child" really knew what they were talking about! As the season goes on, I will try to post some pictures of the kids playing ball.

That's all for tonight since I have to get the last kiddo in bed. Hopefully you will hear from me again before too many moons go by.

Feeling Festive...NOT!

The "Holiday Season" is officially here. All of the stores have festive decorations, big sales and Christmas music playing. Many of the neighborhoods are decorating the entrances. Home owners are putting up lights, wreaths and even trees. My favorite radio station played Christmas music all last weekend. The bell ringers have invaded Wal-mart. Church has the angel tree, magi boxes and stockings to fill. A Christmas Carol is playing at the theater. I have even picked up a couple of Christmas gifts.

But with so many signs of the season all around me...why don't I feel festive? It all seems so mechanical right now. Automatic. Like we are all just going through the motions. We are decorating because we have to. It's time. It's not even cold outside! Where's the magic???

It's in the other room. Getting ready for bed. My kids are the magic of Christmas! They love to decorate, sing carols, and look at lights. They love to bake and decorate cookies. They love to dream about gifts, pack magi boxes and wrap gifts for others. But they are kids and kids don't think about Christmas until Thanksgiving is over. They don't know how the magic happens, it just does! Somehow, we have sugar, flour and sprinkles. We have wrapping paper, bows and tape. We have the perfect gift for all of our family to wrap. Magic! And that is why I will start going through the motions, getting ready, preparing for the season. They count on me. And soon, before I know it, I will be feeling very festive too, ready for a magical holiday season full of wonderful memories.

Uncomfortable

Have you ever felt uncomfortable in your own skin? Like something isn't right? You feel like you should be doing something bigger than you are? Today I am uncomfortable. I am taking care of my sick family, doing laundry, dishes, taking out the trash, feeding the dog. None of these things are really very glamorous things to do. Necessary, but not necessarily fun and exciting. But surely life is about more than dirty laundry!

I don't always talk to God as I should and yet today I randomly opened up my Bible to 2 Corinthians this afternoon. "Now we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. ²Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, ⁴For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. ⁵Now it is God who has made us for this very purpose and has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.

⁶Therefore we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord. ⁷We live by faith, not by sight. ⁸We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. ⁹So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it. ¹⁰For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive what is due him for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad."

Yeah! It is ok to be uncomfortable. God wants us to be uncomfortable! If I feel ok and confident in my body doing what I always do, no matter how big or small, I am away from God. He wants us to be close to Him. At home with Him. Today I am uncomfortable. Are you?

Lysol please

Fall is a great time of year. I love the cooler weather, the changing leaves, football, pumpkin crisp...but one thing I do NOT love is that fall usually means someone gets ill at the Texas Tolleson's house. This year there are LOTS of someone's getting ill!. Lily had a random fever virus 2 weeks ago. Lily and my allergies are acting up after a school field trip. And now Logan AND Larry are running fever. I have an appointment for Logan tomorrow and hopefully it is something that antibiotics can easily heal. Please pray that they will heal quickly and that I don't run out of Lysol! And now, I'm taking my Nyquil and heading to bed. Good night.

Logan is 9!

Logan officially turned 9 on October 31st! And so, to commemorate the event, I give you a look back at sweet Logan...

He was such a big bundle of joy! He had rolls on his rolls! Logan was always smiling and very content to be held all the time. We weren't sure if he would ever crawl because he would have to lift his belly off the ground!






One of Logan's favorite foods, no, his absolute favorite food is chocolate. He has always loved chocolate. When he was little he used to "purr" when he was offered chocolate. That is how Larry and I describe the sound he makes. It is this super fast laugh that only comes out when he is overjoyed by something (usually food).



Logan loves to have a good time and laughs out loud often. He's got a great laugh! He is shy. He does not like to be the center of attention. He is sneaky. He is devious. I know, you would never expect it out of those sweet eyes!




Most of all Logan is a sweet kid that likes to have fun. He loves playing baseball on the Crossmen. He plays second base, outfield and just started pitching. He also loves video games, reading and swimming. Not to wish the year away, but he is already looking forward to being double digits next year. Slow down big boy. Momma's not ready for that quite yet. Happy 9th sweet Lo.

Happy Halloween!

It was a great Halloween week for us. On Sunday night we went to Legacy's annual Trunk or Treat. We had a great time and it is a nice safe place to let our kids have fun with their friends. We passed out candy, visited with friends, got balloon flowers, ate hot dogs, and ate lots, and lots and lots of candy!

Here are the kids in their costumes. Logan the Hippie, Lily as Hannah Montana, and Zac as, well he just went in his school clothes. :)












On Halloween the boys had baseball games at 4:00 and 5:00. Seriously?? Who made that scheduling??? Anyway, after we got home at 7:00 pm, we changed in to costumes and went out with a pumpkin in one and and a piece of pizza in the other. Hey, I had to feed them dinner sometime! It was a lot of fun! The kids are already thinking about their costumes for next year!

Almost 9

Logan is so excited about his birthday - he can barely contain his joy! He is ready for his party, and presents and being 9. The only problem is that he has absolutely no concept of time. He was ready for his party days ago! This must seem like to longest week ever for him! If he asks one more time "when does my party start?"...Aargh! We are heating up the pool for a swim party and no, of course this crazy Texas weather is not exactly cooperating. It will be pretty cool, but we all swam today, and it wasn't too bad. (Hopefully swimming when it is cold out will not make us all sick!)

I will try to post some pictures of the birthday boy on his special day. October 31st is going to be busy though. Each child has a ball game. Assuming no rainouts. We have 2 parties to attend. If we have rainouts. And then of course, the kids insist we go trick-or-treating! Maybe we will have time to get into costumes in the car after that last game ends at 6:40 pm. (Who made that schedule?!?)

Tomorrow I get to decorate and make my little chocolate lover's cake. Atleast I will get to lick the icing bowl all by myself. Yummy!!!

Flu Ready

Well, it is flu season in Texas and the Texas Tolleson's are finally ready. Hopefully. Larry had his shot weeks ago. His doctors don't give him an option! I got mine at a Walgreens. They had 10 left after mine and they would only give the shots to people 9 and older. So, I raced to school, picked up Zac and surprise! He was thrilled to get a shot! Well, not exactly. Ok, not at all! But it did get him out of school for an hour! We spent the next few days hitting each other in the arm! I spent a week trying to call the pediatrician's office. I finally got appointments for the flu clinic. Logan and Lily got theirs at the pediatrician's office. Luckily for me, shots are not a big deal for my kids.

Tonight in the flu clinic, Lily and I had fun watching the faces of the kids after getting their shots. Most of the big kids were fine. The babies had red, teary eyes. But there was one girl that caught everyone's attention. She was about 4 or 5 and was being quickly carried out by her mom. As they left, the girl screamed "I'm dying! I'm really dying!" The mom tried to reassure her (and it sounded like she had done this before). But she insisted "No, I'm really dying!!!"

As a mother that had a terrible 2/3 year old daughter, this was hilarious to me! It is also amazing to me that we are all created so different. Even at such a young age, we are tough, tender, loving, independent, adventurous, shy and melodramatic. All in one room. All God's creations. Created uniqely. Loved equally. Amazing.

Should have beens

Ok, so I should have been blogging regularly to keep both of my readers informed...sorry. But when you only have 2 readers, it is easier to make a phone call. Let's see if I can remember what has happened the past 2 weeks.

We should have been playing fall baseball, but it rained and rained and rained. So, we have been spending time together as a family at home instead. Not such a bad trade off, but now we are trying to make up all of the games we missed. Now we have baseball every night! The kids are playing well and having fun.

We should have been landscaping the backyard, but it rained and rained and rained. So, we have been spending time together as a family instead. Once again, not a bad trade off, but now we are trying to plant a few bushes in between baseball games! It is looking much better, but we still have a lot of work to do. Do you have any idea how much trash that is buried under a construction site???

I should have been doing a lot of things to catch up on my to do list, but it rained and rained...wait...I guess I can't really use that as an excuse here. I should have been filing records, cleaning house, exercising, etc. But instead, I have been playing with yarn thanks to my mother-in-law teaching me new tricks. I made Lily another scarf and I am working on another one for myself. I love that I can sit and make something without having to drag out every tool I have and cover the dining table with a huge mess.

How is it that the should haves seem to rule my life lately? I have the best of intentions, but my follow through is severely lacking which leads to much regret. I pray that there are certain areas of my life that I have no regrets. My husband. My kids. My faith. My family. My friends. For all the planning I do, tomorrow may not come. My prayer today is that I will live a life of no regrets.

For Granted

Today was a great day! The house magically cleaned itself. The sheets were magically changed. The laundry was magically washed and folded. Dinner was magically prepared. That magic fairy was working hard at our house today! She probably even had to work overtime! I bet she did not even shower until about...oh, just guessing...5pm!!! Wow - just enough time to get ready to go out for the night.

Magic. This is how these things happen in the eyes of a child. They are always taken care of for them. They do not have to worry about cleaning their baseball uniforms, or what to eat, or whether the toilet is really clean. They are taken for granted.

But how different am I as an adult? I still take things for granted. The paychecks keeps magically appearing in our bank account. The pool chemistry is magically adjusted. My computer is magically fixed. The church services are all magically prepared. The shelves for give away day are magically stocked. These are things that are always taken care of for me, but do I really appreciate it all? As a magic household fairy, I love to be appreciated. Verbally. Often. How much more should I show my appreciation of those that magically take care of me?

Self Punishment

When each of my kids were babies, there came a time when we had to teach them to go to sleep on their own. In their own bed. Without mom rocking and singing until the wee hours of the morning. I remember listening outside of their doors - out of sight of course - waiting for them to stop crying. Knowing in my head that it won't be long before they fall asleep, but feeling like my heart was being ripped out with each sob.

There also came a time for each one when they had to learn to eat what I served for dinner. Even if it was green or mushy or not peanut butter. They went to their rooms crying many nights. I remember wishing they would just try the food. I am a picky eater, so I don't fix weird foods. I listened to them cry, praying they would come back down and fill their little tummies. I was trying to nurture them, but felt so sad knowing they were hungry.

Tonight I asked them to all get ready for bed. I gave them time. They all heard me. They all ignored me. So...I ignored them. They all got ready for bed and tucked themselves in. No stories. No prayers. No bear hugs. No sweet kisses. Lily cried and said she couldn't sleep. I felt like the brand new mom, waiting for her babies to sleep. I was dying to go up there! I waited as long as I could, then I crept upstairs to kiss all their sleeping faces. Logan was sound asleep. Zac was still awake, feeling bad, and apologized. Lily...she was reading her Bible with her ring light. OK reading her Bible is sweet, but OF COURSE YOU CAN"T SLEEP!!! I still have so much work with that one!

They are older now. They have no trouble sleeping. They eat what is served. The battles are changing. The punishment is changing. But why is it that I am the one that feels punished the most? Sometimes the punishment is so much worse for me than it is for them. But they don't know that. That is part of being a mother. And that lesson is one that they will not learn until I am a grandmother.

Rain, Rain Go Away

OK. I love a rainy day as much as the next gal. Cuddling up with a good book. Visiting with friends. Watching old movies. Playing board games with the kids. Making cookies. Eating soup. Taking a long nap.

But ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!! It has rained too many days now. I feel the need to begin construction on my ark!

There is something I love even more than a rainy day...and that is getting things crossed off my "to-do" list. Isn't that the best feeling in the world?!? Does anyone agree, or am I all alone on this one? I absolutely love finishing projects! Starting projects is fun and the process is good, but stepping back and seeing a job well done...wow! And right now the biggest "to-do" on my list (and subsequently Larry's list too) is landscaping the back yard. The pool is finished and I am ready for it to look like the pictures in the pool brochures. Right now, it is a pretty swimming hole planted in mud! If it ever stops raining for more than 2 days, we might just get the chance.

But, for tonight, I guess we watch football, listen to the rain and patiently (I'm working on that) wait for things to dry.